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Holidays Bah Humbug

Once again the holidays are upon us and I have to get through the month.  I am not sure what it is but I go into depression every year at this time. Maybe it is the anxiety that comes with the commercialism that goes with this time of year and the pressure to buy, buy, buy.  There has been a number of Christmases where our kids only got a few things and we said we would not exchange gifts mainly because we didn’t have the money for it.  I remember how sad I was the 2nd Christmas Ben and I were out in New Jersey. It was just the 2 of us no family and no close friends to spend the day with and he was only 3 so how much did he understand what day it was.  I almost didn’t even have a tree, but I did pick up a little Norwich Pine to put Ben’s one little $3.00 gift under.  Yes he didn’t know what it cost and he enjoyed it for as long as it lasted, but I knew and I felt guilty that I couldn’t get him more.  We have had a few good years but most have been small and barely any gifts, in fact last we almost didn’t have one at all but nice surprise from one of our favorite Bishop’s made  a little Christmas happen in our house. This year again is starting to look the same as we watch everything around us crumble.   I am sure no one will read this but I do this for me to put my feelings down.   I know we are to think about what we are grateful for and to remember the reason we truly celebrate Christmas is the birth of our Savior, but how do you make that more important with all the hoopla of getting gifts.

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